The Day When Kevin Meets a Sith
by Dr. Angryslacks
Summary: This is a story about Kevin meeting the dreaded Darth Maul. Can Shovel-Chin survive the nonsensical and pointless crossover? Read to find out.


_A/N Here is a pointless Ed, Edd n Eddy/Star Wars crossover I made after being inspired by a painting DogDays124 made on the wiki. The only thing to take note are a couple mild adult themes. Otherwise enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ed, Edd n Eddy or Star Wars. They belong to A.K.A. Cartoon and Lucasfilms respectively.**

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After the Big Picture Show, the three Eds have been living in luxury. In other words feasting on jawbreakers and going without the Kankers. May, Lee and Marie were busy doing things to Eddy's Brother back at Mondo. Everything seemed fine for the kids, however in a galaxy far far away; trouble was on its way.

On board the Trade Federation cruiser, _The Bad Guyz Ship. _A lone figure stood peering out the bridge. His blood red face painted by tribal markings; coupled with several demonic horns. Only those added greater intimidation to his foes than his yellow eyes. The figure adorned a dark robe with an odd metal cylinder to his side. Stepping in to greet the devil like person was a droid of sorts. In contrast it was thin and fragile looking with its voice monotonic.

"Are we ready to set off yet?" The figure asked with a snarl.

"Estimates indicate roger roger that all droids and roger roger VIPs will be onboard roger roger in three minutes." The droid responded.

Turning to face the machine, the enraged warrior stuck out its hand with the droid flying back into the hall with great force.

"You only said 'roger roger' three times you worm." exclaimed the Sith master.

Shortly after the shenanigan the ship zoomed through space at a speed that could be described as really really fast.

Meanwhile Nazz was holding a pool party (again) and everyone except Jonny, Plank and the Kankers went. Fortunately the Eds did not have to wear Speedos and make fools of themselves it was just a good time.

"God I love being accepted by everybody! Woo!" Roared Eddy.

"Eddy, we went through 130 episodes 4 specials and a movie without referencing religion, why start now?" Double D questioned.

"Because this is a fan fiction silly!" Jimmy interjected between the conversation.

"Way to go creampuff, you only have one line in the whole story and you wasted it on that." Eddy shot back.

"Ho ho, Rolf says this party is the synonym for fecal matter!" Rolf announced.

"At least he's being politically correct. And out of character for that matter." Kevin the so not protagonist said.

"Great so far it's just pointless rambling. Nazz! Go tell Jonny he needs to know about the movie!" Sarah yelled in an attempt to get the plot moving.

Nazz walked out of her house to inform the wood-loving boy. For some inexplicable reason that so does not serve any purpose other than a plot device. She had the body of an eighteen year old and a bikini to match, and could be compared to a certain female actor in the Transformers movies.

"Yeah, I'm so using the quote now." Eddy commented.

"What sort of "T for Teen" rating don't you understand Eddy?" Edd reminded his drooling friend.

"Whatever Edd."

"Why are… Ed! Keep him from using the sentence!"

"Because af…" Was it not for Ed cramming a notebook in Eddy's mouth. The bit of dialogue would have been amusing.

"Well that didn't work." Sarah spoke to herself on how pointless banter is still occurring.

That is when _THE F***ING BAD GUYZ SHIP _APPEARED IN ORBIT!1 and _The Bad Guyz Ship _along with it. (Didn't expect that did you?) Emerging from the latter were drop ships, when said drop ships touched down. More of those droids jumped out, except they had blasters.

The characters immediately surrendered like the pansies they were except Kevin who stood wearing his season five apparel. Armed to the teeth with… You guessed it a spatula.

The Sith Master from before showed up and the two walked out in the street.

"At last I'm able to fulfill my purpose." Boasted the demon.

"Whatever it is we are supposed to fight each other." Kevin told the figure.

Without further ado, Darth Maul pulled out his dual sided lightsaber and struck a badass pose while Kevin did something as irrelevant as holding his spatula.

"Kevin you have like .3 seconds to live." Eddy commented.

The two charge towards each other, weapon and barbeque utensil at the ready. When the armaments collided, the spatula was intact! Maul slashing wildly while Kevin was just trying to block or evade the blade of energy.

Using some cheap trick, Kevin went into the offensive but with each high speed blow he focused his attack lazily to the left. The unaware Maul was caught off guard when the spatula sliced open his right arm. Despite the trickling blood oozing from the wound, Maul still had plenty of fight in him.

Using Force Push upon the boy, Kevin flew into the ruins of that one house in the cul-de-sac nobody really lived in. Peppering Kevin with shards of glass, he engaged the droids inside the house while the Sith patiently waited.

Blaster fire fling left and right, Kevin deflected a bolt only for it to hit a droid. Taking the fallen automaton's weapon, he went all Master Chief on the rest. When Kevin leaped out of the spontaneously Asploding house, blaster and spatula in hand. Maul was greeted by bolts of laser. Once in range the gun was switched with spatula, Maul frantically struggled to survive.

"This is impossible! You are not even a Jedi! How could you so easily stand a chance against the Dark Side?" Maul gasped in between breath.

"Because I have become the unthinkable. Because of the author, in exchange for my fledging fan base I have become a Gary Stu!"

"No! That not true! That's Impossible!" Whined Luke Skywalker making his cameo, while Ed is making out with Princess Leia much to Han's dismay. Chewbacca, yeah he's just being awesome.

Exhausted and bruised, Darth Maul collapsed into the asphalt. Emperor Palpatine stood by the street.

"Embrace your anger, finish off the weakling" The Sith Lord ordered.

Kevin turned his head towards the Emperor shaking his head no. Only for him to be shot in the back. Not by any of the remaining droids that were still active, but by the blasted Gungan Jar-Jar Binks. Well he _did_ support Palpatine after all.

The still alive Maul and Kevin glanced at their betrayal mostly on Maul's part. Using their last ounce of strength, the two stood up waiting for their shock therapy. When Greedo pointed his blaster at Binks. Greedo fired at the Gungan only to miss with Binks returning fire. Then Han shot Bins without paying much attention.

"This time, I shot first." Greedo remarked.

"Yeah you did." Han replied in his favorite way.

The Emperor left for no real reason along with the rest of the Star Wars characters. Before Maul jumped into hyperspace he announced that if Kevin thought he was going to do a Terminator reference; He is not. Instead Maul has more important things to deal with such as trying to reestablish canon.

Nazz ran over to Kevin asking what she could do to thank him. Despite having trouble keeping eye contact he did manage to say one line.

"I don't do older chicks." Kevin said all badass like. Upon saying that, as inexplicable as it started. Nazz turned back to normal. "That's better."

From that point on the Cul-de-sac residents spent many years having lavish lives, but sadly for Kevin; Gravity beat Nazz.

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_A/N Some one-shot, please review. Considering that I had the time to write this, I'll get to work on I-War Ed right away._


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